The World According to Humphrey

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Pepco the Incompetent

Posted by humphreysworld on September 1, 2011

Tsk tsk. Artifully done by Sara.

Once upon a time in a land far, far, away, all the way in the suburbs there was a little company called Pepco. Pepco, the Incompetent. Pepco was a clumsy, old, lonely and greedy boy. He had a monopoly you see on electricity sources for all of D.C. and a large portion of Maryland, so Pepco was spoiled and did whatever he pleased. Pepco wants to take a vacation? New fees! Pepco needs a new car, sorry, you’ll have to pay up! On top of that Pepco was clumsy! Any gust of wind and Pepco would throw a tantrum and give up. And don’t let him get wet- WOOO! Why, any drop of water or snow and you’re up frozen popsicle creek without a stick.

One day not too long ago during a particularly cold winter Pepco decided he simply had enough. The snow kept coming, messing up Pepco’s hair and his disposition even more. ‘Don’t make me walk out!’, he said. He was very upset you see; he was certain the snow was jealous of him and he did not like that at all. But the snow kept coming. ‘You don’t know who you’re messing with, I’m super serial, you stop snowing and stop snowing now!‘. But the snow wouldn’t stop. So Pepco turned off and walked out. He didn’t show is face in some parts of the land for a week! Customers schmustomers, Pepco thought. He was far too old & stubborn to give a rats, well, you know.

Customers everywhere were out of power. In the middle of the winter! Many people all over the land couldn’t get out of their houses because mother nature was quite angry herself that year and dumped up to a foot of snow, and they were forced to sit inside with no heat or hot water. Needless to say the townspeople were not pleased with Pepco. They called their representatives and cried shenanigans on Pepco and he had to face the music. Oh but Pepco was very cunning. He sent his staff to the castle Annapolis and made them a promise to behave, saying they would work on trimming trees and review his plans for outages. But that wasn’t enough to make them happy so he had to give up his bonus and promise to make real improvements. The nerve! How was he to keep up with his weekly tanning? Making improvements costs money, money that he and his minions relied on to take care of their needs. This was a dire situation indeed.

Of course no one was really watching, so Pepco thought, why do today what you can put off tomorrow? Or four years from now! Ha!

As you can guess, Pepco continued to misbehave. Storms would blow through and take the power with them. And even though Pepco made a lot of fancy ads to show the work he did, it wasn’t nearly enough to stop the trees from toppling on him (which of course made him mad) and the power going out.

Months went by. Winter finally got the hint and made things pretty easy for Pepco. And even summer passed with little trouble. Sometimes for grins and giggles Pepco would make the power flicker for some because he was just that mean. It’s important to note that Pepco was never raised with a strong work ethic. So even though he could be using this leisure time to prepare for winter who was sure to be cruel once again (winter had a big attitude himself), or even summer who was sometimes unpredictable and quite the diva, he was going to enjoy the last dog days of summer without a care in the world.

And then along came Irene.

Oh Irene! Clearly mother nature did NOT get the memo. Pepco was not interested in such things! The wind, the rain, the COMPLAINING! This simply would not do! All the forecasters were saying it was coming straight for his service area and it was going to be big, but Pepco wasn’t feeling well so he didn’t bother with any trees or any real prep. These weather people have been wrong before, so why make more work? As it turns out, Pepco was right, it wasn’t a big storm after all. But did that stop Pepco from acting up? Of course not!

POOF! Out went the lights.

When Pepco woke the next day, he felt good. A nice cool breeze was running all over him, fall was definitely coming soon. And interestingly enough, these silly weather dealings always made him feel alive. Maybe it’s the transformers exploding or the live wires making contact with the ground, whatever it is, damn it felt good. As he daydreamed lazily some irritating noise was disrupting his thoughts. Ringing… is that a phone ringing?? It sounds like a dreadful chorus! How did the phone lines get up so quickly!!! As if that isn’t bad enough, all this stupid social media buzz! ‘I knew I shouldn’t have listened to that PR hack!’, he thought. Apparently people didn’t appreciate having no power. I mean, when you’re living above ground surrounded by silly trees what else do they expect! ‘Besides, I’m old, how can I be expected to perform up to snuff!’, Pepco thought. And he’s got a point. Our reliance upon dirty energy from antiquated plants to deliver power through antiquated systems designed with 1/3 less people in mind, well, poor old Pepco simply can’t keep up. And Irene did pack a bit of a wallop, ripping old trees from their roots and crashing them into people’s houses. She wasn’t kind at all. But all things considered, had Pepco been more prepared and done what he was supposed to do, none of this would’ve happened. And Pepco knew it too. So he reached into his pocket and took out money from his 3rd Rolodex Fundand put some people on the streets to start cleaning up his mess. But dammit, he was not going to be pushed around by these customer people! ‘September 1st!’, he declared when deciding to get the townspeople up and running again- and that was that. Does that mean some people would be out of power for a week? Sure! Does that mean it will be hot, and stinky from rotten food and people

Stinky! Artwork beautifully designed by Sara

would have to take cold showers and eat out of tin cans? So what. Pepco was invincible and he wasn’t going to be bullied by anybody. If he wanted, he could send more of his minions to the castle Annapolis and tell them to put on their saddest faces and say they are really, really, REALLY sorry. Tell them we have a plan, yadda yadda yadda and make this horrible mess would go away. But then he heard something. Something he didn’t think he’d heard before. It sounded almost like a chorus. A chorus of thousands of voices….

The people have revolted! They demanded a more reliable Pepco! In fact, they began demanding the end of energy from dirty power plants like the one Pepco gets its energy from!! This could mean the end of Pepco!!! The voices got louder and louder, and it made Pepco tired. Even though he was a stubborn old mule, it made him sad to hear them calling him out his name. His mama was so not that! He wasn’t sure what was going to happen to him, all the fat cats working for him, or the future of dirty, unreliable energy…

The future is in YOUR hands, how the story ends is up to you.


Posted in environment, politics | Leave a Comment »

The Fix for Black Marriage?

Posted by humphreysworld on August 8, 2011

While I have never questioned my blackness, I can’t say it was fully realized until I became an adult. Sounds a little nutty from a black woman but let me explain. I grew up in the burbs in California. From early on, my friends were diverse and, being in free-loving northern Cali, no one made a point to remind me I was black. I remember once being called nigger by my best friends dad in a fit of anger, but honestly at the age of 7 I didn’t really understand the power behind that word. It wasn’t until I became an adult did I realize my blackness was in reality my first identifier. Blatant racism will do that do you.

Over the years, my consciousness as a black woman continued to develop and the importance of creating and maintaining that sense of community even more focused. As loved ones have passed on and my sense of family, community and pride continued to swell, my commitment to the idea of black love and family has never been stronger. So imagine my shock/surprise/disappointment/fill-in-the-blank when I came across a recent article in the Wall Street Journal that suggested the way today’s black woman will find happiness is to date/marry outside of our race.

The article began by profiling a woman named Audrey who was 39, single and living in the D.C. area. By all accounts she seemed like a good catch- smart, educated, yadda yadda.  What Audrey was missing was a partner.  According the article (and personal experience), Audrey is not alone. Nearly 70% of African American women are not married. The answer, the article intimates, is to open ourselves to relationships with men of other races.

I felt a range of emotions after reading this. Except for the difference in age, I am Audrey. I live in the D.C. area, am a month away from being 37, single, successful by most accounts (working for social change doesn’t pay for a mortgage in this area but I do ok) and I am in a place in my life where marriage and family is something I am open to. To be specific, I want a black family and a black marriage.  According to the article, and many other books, papers, etc. I’ve read, the odds are stacked against black love. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before: black women are too aggressive/angry (what black person hasn’t heard that before. When it comes from within however, it’s something different). Black women are gold-diggers. Black men like to ‘marry up/out’ when they become successful. Black men are less educated. Black women nag. Black men are incarcerated in large numbers (very true, a problem that is so much bigger than this conversation), on and on. What community doesn’t have their own challenges? What relationship doesn’t have their own set of bullshit? Are these reasons to date/marry outside your race because you feel there is no other option?

I spent 2.5 years of my life being dragged on an emotional roller coaster by someone who in the end was an emotionally immature asshole. And I a fool. A black ass and a black fool. He didn’t fit any of the challenges outlined above, and neither did I. WE simply didn’t fit. And it wouldn’t have turned out any different if he was white or Hispanic. Without question the external issues we have with race as individuals is something we end up bringing to our internal relationships with each other. All of the above can be attributed to our economic status (or lack thereof), and how we view ourselves through what we learn externally also plays a role in how we relate to and treat each other. This is something that needs to be addressed in order for black love to survive.

A friend pointed out to me that race shouldn’t limit who you find happiness with. I’m sure he’s right. But I hope we (the collective) don’t give up on each other. I’ve been through some rough patches with my brothers, as I’m sure they would likely say about me, as I’m sure our community can say of each other. But even still, that isn’t reason enough for me to give up on the idea of black love and family. Love is a beautiful thing, no matter who you end up with.  To find love these days, true love that can withstand everything that is thrown at it, is rare across all races.  In spite of the odds, many of my brothers and sisters have found each other so I know it’s possible. Nothing in life is easy, and if it is, it’s probably not worth fighting for. Sometimes you have to pick through a lot of rotten apples to get to the shiny one on top. And that apple will taste like none other, it will nourish you like nothing else and it will behold beauty compared to none because of the work you put in to get to it. That’s what love is like. I can’t speak to other experiences, but for black women (including your girl here) there’s no question it isn’t easy. But to me my happily ever after is worth fighting for so I’ll take my lumps and wait for my brown prince charming*.

*I recognize the topic of race, particularly interracial dating, is a touchy subject. I welcome any and all thoughts on this, although I have zero tolerance for ignorance and racist bullshit. So keep it classy, y’all.

Posted in Culture, dating | 2 Comments »

Bidder #70

Posted by humphreysworld on July 26, 2011

Does the name Tim DeChristopher sound familiar to you? If you are an environmentalist or work for an environmental organization as I do, you know the name well. But if not, let me tell you who he is. He’s the guy who stood up the big oil and gas fat cats so that we could have the opportunity to continue to enjoy mother nature the way God intended it. He’s the guy that did what the former administration refused to do, which was to halt the sale of parcel for oil and gas leases. He’s the guy that’s just been sentenced to two years in prison for trying to do the right thing by our land.

And he, my friends, is a hero.

Tim might not think of himself that way; he’s a very humble person so he would probably just say he was doing the right thing. But any act of civil disobedience in the name of protecting the rights of others (in this case, our environment) is heroic to me. Tim’s story is this:

He attended the auction of parcels in Utah with no intention other than to check out what was going on. When he arrived, he was handed auction paddle #70. And in an effort to protect the land from being leased to the oil and gas industry, and idea came to him: He decided to bid on the land himself. To the tune of 22,000 acres. Did Tim have the $1.7 million dollars to pay for the land? Nope. Did it prevent the industry cronies from grabbing that land for the purposes of destroying it? You bet. And his bidding on the land caused the cost of the land to drive up. Had he not stepped in, the industry would’ve not only purchased the land for their disgusting deed, but they would have gotten it at at a steal. I can’t take myself to the movies these days without dropping $20 bucks but the industry was going to rip off the government- and the people- at bargain basement prices.

And that is the reason they allege he is guilty. Because his act of civil disobedience caused harm. To the people? No no, we the people aren’t harmed in anyway his decision to bid on the land. No, he’s guilty because he caused harm to the industry. THE INDUSTRY. The case against him was not framed as such, although it’s pretty transparent. Rather they claim he was attempting to defraud the government. Interesting.

I’ll tell you what is a fraud. For starters, a fraud is the process in itself. The Bush administration was attempting to give a gift to his rich pig friends in the industry by waiving the requirement that bidders show proof of their ability to pay for the land. A fraud is cheating the American public out of our last wild places by gift-wrapping them to the industry for exploitation. A fraud is holding office and, rather than advocating on behalf of your constituents who want to protect the environment, you trade in your conscience for a week-long stay on the island of your choice courtesy of the oil and gas lobby and turn the other cheek to the environmental destruction in your own backyard.

What DeChristopher did was what no one in Congress or the administration cared to do: he took a stand against the industry, an industry hell bent on drilling/blasting/pillaging every wild place (and even some not so wild) we have left.

There is a bit of good news. The Obama administration ended up canceling most of the sales because of doubts on the Bush leasing plan. And more importantly, Tim exposed an issue that has been going on for too long. He also started a nonprofit, Peaceful Uprising, which “seeks to change the institutional and social status quo at the root of the climate crisis, and move toward a just and healthy world.” Unfortunately he will be paying the price for it.

I admire Tim for what he has done, as well as anyone throughout history who has taken a courageous stand to change the discord in America. Climate change is one of the biggest threats to our world. This is not hippie mumbo jumbo as the coal, oil, gas, chemical industry would have you believe. Our climate is changing every day. And to state the obvious, if we destroy our planet, where the fuck are we supposed to live?

Tim is just one man, one man who saw an injustice and stood up. All it takes is one. I encourage each of you to take a stand against this environmental calamity. Take a stand for your children, nieces, brothers, sisters, parents, neighbors, etc. Climate change is real and you have the power to do something about it. We don’t need a new Tim DeChristopher in this fight, we need you.

For more information on the case, the issue and how you can get involved, check out some of these organizations.

Posted in environment | Leave a Comment »

Part two: The Injustice System

Posted by humphreysworld on July 8, 2011

Anthony Graves- 20 years.
Barney Brown- 38 years.
Michael Green- 27 years.
Ronald Cotton- 11 years.
Dean Cage- 14 years.
Central Park Five- 12 years.
John Jerome White- 30 years.

What do these men have in common? For one, these are just a few of the men that were thrown in the clink for crimes they didn’t commit. Besides having lost up to half their lives in prison, these men experienced a ‘justice’ system that is designed to keep them locked up like animals. They were also convicted in a court of ‘law’ based on shaky and in some cases, falsified information. Did I mention they were also black?

We have two justices systems in this country, one for whites and one for nots. Had Casey Anthony been a woman of color she would’ve been found guilty, as she should be. As I mentioned in part one of my ranting on this case, I paid very little attention to this case. But what I read left little doubt that she at a minimum had something to do with the death of her child, and in all likelihood was the one who ended it. In most of the cases above*, they were falsely identified by witnesses or victims and in spite of professing their innocence, they were convicted and sentenced to live life in prison. And Casey goes free. Huh?

I realize I’m stating the obvious, but there is an injustice in the system. Many would argue (and I would agree) it is designed to keep the brown and poor (often one in the same) confined. The stark differences in between how people of color and whites are treated when suspects, on trial, in jail, etc. makes it hard to argue otherwise. Just last month I came across a startling article stating that there are more black men in prison now then there were enslaved in the 1850’s. WTF! One could argue that today’s prison industrial complex model is nothing more than modern day slavery. Once inside, you are stripped of your rights, your dignity and you work for next to nothing. Sounds a lot like a plantation to me.

Now before you send me nasty notes, call me racist or whatever the hell else you can come up with, let me clarify two things. One, white people do go to jail (duh). And they aren’t always poor whites; every now and then the ‘justice’ system throws the public a bone by catching a white collar thief like Madoff and sends them up the gucci river without a paddle (how many get away with their crimes is a post for another time). To say that jails are filled with only blacks and latinos would be horse shit. Now are the rates of incarcerated whites to black and latinos imbalanced? Yup. According to recent data, there are more than 2 million people in the slammer. And while African Americans make up just over 12% of the U.S. population, we account for nearly 40% of the prison population. As for my latino brothers and sisters, they comprise of 16% of the U.S. population and yet account for 20% of the prison population. Point number two, there are people of all races who without a doubt deserve to be behind bars. There are rapists, thieves, pedophiles, murderers, drunk drivers, etc. who have no business being on the street. They deserve to be in jail and I am in no way suggesting anything otherwise.

But I am suggesting that this system is quite simply, fucked up.

Caylee Anthony will likely see no justice in her day. Neither will the hundreds of black and brown children who have been kidnapped or murdered that have cases unsolved. Neither will any black woman who has been assaulted who had her case ignored. Neither will some people- brown or otherwise-, wrongly accused who may die in prison before they get the opportunity to exonerate themselves. And yet Casey goes free. There is a pattern here and it seems to be pretty, well, black and white.

There seems to be no justice in the justice system…or maybe it is I who is colorblind. What do you think?

*The young men involved in the Central Park Five case originally confessed to committing the crime without a lawyer or adult present.

Posted in Culture, politics | Leave a Comment »

Part one: The three-ring circus.

Posted by humphreysworld on July 5, 2011

people lined up outside of Casey Anthony trial.

I don’t even know where to begin this. I am disgusted on so many levels, but maybe not for the same reasons everyone else is. Don’t get me wrong, I am revolted by our justice system. I didn’t pay attention to this bullshit other than reading the headlines on CNN or MSNBC, but even those snippets indicated she was guilty. I’m with you America, I am outraged. But I have other reasons for my dismay.

Did you ever see the musical/movie Chicago? If so then you will see where I’m going with this.  But if not, let me give you a brief description of the plot: Sex/death/murder/corruption sells. It’s all but glamorized. We don’t just buy it, we devour it. If that wasn’t evident in this trial let me remind you of an unsettling event that resulted from this: Just two weeks ago people came to blows- BLOWS- over tickets to get in line to see the trial. A child has been murdered and she will likely never see justice, and these morons who have ZERO stake in the case other than to give first-hand account to friends and family are beating each other up because someone tried to cut in line. Did I mention that these people stood 14 hours in line for a chance to get in? Too bad the same can’t likely be said when it comes to exercising the right to vote.

People all smiles with blankets, picnic baskets and lawn chairs- as if they are tailgating the big game.  And I guess in essence, they were.

Humanity isn’t the only one to blame. How does the saying go, ‘if it bleeds it leads’? So sad, but it’s true. The media holds a tremendous amount of responsibility for the circus this poor girls’ life (not Casey’s) turned out to be. The media is the vehicle for this sickness. Unfortunately the Casey Anthony trial is not the first sensationalized drama to unfold in the news and it will not be the last. The public feeds off of death and destruction and the media spoons it to us bite by bloody bite. The trial garnered more media attention than some of the toughest issues plaguing our country today. Real issues that affect real lives; our economy, the trillion dollar war tab on our hands, the war on the working class here at home- I could go on. Hell, if the media wanted to earn their journalistic kudos on this fucking trial, why not expose the issues behind the child’s death? Young women becoming parents before their time, child abuse, child rearing- anything that could potentially have given us a teaching moment.

And yet in spite all of this, soon enough she will fade into obscurity until someone grants her a book or lifetime movie- and the media will be on to the next body.

I didn’t read or watch much about this trial. In fact, the only headline I clicked on and read beyond the first sentence was about the people fighting in line. It made me click because I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading. How, how could it come to this? A girl was murdered. A child. A human life. And she was dealt an injustice today by a system that is beyond flawed (more on that in part 2, stay tuned). Meanwhile people are lining up and tuning in for a chance to be a part of it.

By feeding into this frenzy and treating this girls’ life like a spectator sport we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. If we put as much energy into the direction our country was headed that we put into the unfortunate lives of others we would be a more just society.

Part 2 coming shortly…

Posted in Culture | Leave a Comment »


Posted by humphreysworld on June 27, 2011

Have you ever known love? It’s a beautiful thing. It comes in many forms; love of parent and child, love of friends, love of beauty and the ultimate love of the heart. And in a world that sometimes seems so dark, it can brighten everything. Which is why I had to give a shout out to NY for passing gay marriage for New Yorkers.

It’s always baffled me why people are so opposed to gay marriage. No one has ever gotten a divorce because of same sex marriage (unless of course, one party to the marriage happens to be homosexual. But that doesn’t really count). No one has ever cheated on their spouse because their gay neighbors hold hands while walking down the street or they had two groomsmen on their cake. Love is love, no matter what you look like, who you sleep with or what your sexual orientation is. And yet gays and lesbians have to fight state by state to get the same rights as anyone else to make it official with their friends and family before God. The idea is simply ridiculous.

My uncle Bobby and uncle Bruce loved each other. No one ever pulled me aside when I was a kid and said, ‘you know they’re gay’. They just were my uncle Bobby and my uncle Bruce. Had my uncle Bruce not died from AIDS and my uncle Bobby follow shortly thereafter, they would till be together to this day. They laughed together, they argued, they kissed, they lived. Just like I have and will again, just like you have at some point in your life. No one can tell me that what they had wasn’t love, and no one can tell me they didn’t deserve the same rights as I have.

So New York, my birth state, here’s to you. It shouldn’t be considered an act of courage to do the right thing when you are serving the public, but that’s the world we live in. While I don’t think every state will immediately follow suit I think that every small victory helps keep the candle going for people who hope that one day, they will be able to walk down the isle with their partners in their state and celebrate the love they worked so hard to maintain.

Posted in Culture, politics | 2 Comments »

The deep patriots.

Posted by humphreysworld on June 20, 2011

I saw Van Jones* speak this past weekend at Net Roots for the first time. For those of you who don’t know Van Jones, there are many words to describe them. But if I could sum it up into one description, I would have to use his description and call him a deep patriot. Mr. Jones spoke to a crowd of 2000 progressives in MN this past weekend about the need to take our country back. He spoke about how, while we as progressives have a cause, without coming together under one value system for one common goal, we will never win.

In other words progressives, get it the fuck together.**

Our country is in trouble. The attack on women, people of color, young people, poor people, workers, the environment, gay people, Muslim people– I could go on– is stronger than I have seen it in my time as an adult. Hate has taken hold of this country. It is a fear of the other (everyone listed above and then some), combined with ignorance and frustration that has led us to this place. For the past two decades, the right wing has chipped away everything America has worked so hard to build while they have collected millions. They have rigged our halls of government with corruption; most members of Congress won’t take a shit unless BP, Wells Fargo or some other corporation gives them the toilet paper. They have systematically eroded the rights of women by stacking everything from the school board to local governments, board of directors to government agencies with people who will not support sex ed, don’t support the right to choose, don’t support welfare or government assistance programs and deny children the right to a good meal or quality education. They have stood by, while the prison industrial complex has taken a hold of our neighborhoods and locked up my African American and Latino brothers in jail to make them profit. They’ve turned a blind eye while companies continue to spew toxics into the air for children to breathe and drink, came to their aid while polluters killed our oceans and purposefully ignored the law to side on their behalf. This is not America. This is not the America that you or I believe in.This is their America and we can’t afford to stand by while they flush it down the toilet to keep their pockets fat.

But if this isn’t what America is about, why is it that we can’t move a progressive agenda forward? I know our shared values extend well beyond the Minnesota Convention Center. Progressive values are American values. And yet, we have so much trouble communicating it. Each movement wears its hat; global warming, LGBT, women’s rights, etc, but we have never come together, truly come together to talk about our values. It’s not because they aren’t shared. I have yet to find a progressive who wants to end climate change but doesn’t believe women should get fair pay or someone who wants to put an end to the death penalty, yet supports the war on drugs. We have a shared value system. And more importantly, a shared purpose of creating a world that is just. We came together in 2008 under one umbrella, the same umbrella that has allowed the right to galvanize their movement. Let’s be clear, the tea party and much of this hatred stems from racism. They can bring out all the tokens they want, but the only people it’s convincing is themselves. No, we know what it’s about. And frankly, not everyone on the left is happy with Barack Obama right now. And while the politics piece of this is critical, it’s not the way we take our country back.

So what is the key? I think it’s pretty simple. We come together under a new umbrella. We come together, develop shared language and create a movement that has a place for all of us, one that can communicate our values clearly. The world is not full of ignorance and hatred the likes of Glenn Beck. I refuse to believe it. But if we continue to operate in a fractured way, divided and working against one movement so that the other will get ahead, we will never win. And our children will lose.

I was in a panel called ‘ask a sista, black women muse on politics, policy, pop culture scholarship’, which was an engaging conversation with some of today’s most influential black women who are doing their part to change the world and preserve our culture. At the same time, a panel entitled, ‘left out, women, politics and the progressive movement’ was going on in another room at the exact same time. While undoubtedly not on purpose, yet again we have created this dichotomy of ‘us’ and ‘them’. Without question each of us in both rooms could have benefited tremendously from participating in both conversations. Particularly as we try to figure out how we can bridge gaps, one of which has always been race.

America, we are at a crossroads.

I hope someday to be blessed with being a parent. I don’t take that decision lightly, and I want to know that, should that day come, I am giving her or him the best of what this country has to give. I want them to grow up in a world free of hate and fear, with clean air to breathe and the ability to work and prosper. I want that for all children born and not yet born. But we won’t get there if we don’t act now.

*Van Jones’ speech is a must watch, but I didn’t want you to get distracted with his awesomeness from this awesome post:-) This is just a snippet, but please watch, you will be moved.
** Rebuild the Dream kicked off their campaign to take back our country. Will you be there? Visit their website, host a house party or join one near you.

Posted in politics | Leave a Comment »

Weiner & his ‘pussys’.

Posted by humphreysworld on June 11, 2011

You know, this is almost too easy. I mean, ANOTHER politician caught with his virtual pants down? Come on. Nothing surprises me these days, although admittedly it’s usually the GOP that ends up being knocked off their moral high ground when one of them is caught with a page boy in the Bahamas or something along those lines. Dems, well, occasionally we’ll stash some money in our fridge or say something stupid (the latter no real surprise but even us progressives can be non pc from time to time), but that’s really the extent of it. And while dems don’t claim to be the party of moral fiber, I gotta say Weiner parading his weiner to girls online caught me off guard.

giggity giggity! Photo courtey of Freakin Sweet News

You see, Weiner was actually one of the good guys. As good as it can get in this political bullshit arena known as politics. He’s taken a lot of courageous stands on some key issues, such as the 9/11 responders healthcare bill, medicare and the environment. He’s likable and he’s got cajones, the kind of person we like to see in office.  Unfortunately his cajones are what got him into this mess.

Tsk tsk Weiner, don’t you know if you’re going to send lewd pics of your unmentionables, use a fake Twitter account! Get with the program!

It’s not news when someone cheats. Men and women cheat all the time. I would even argue that the bigger issue than Weiner’s wandering weiner is the fact that our generation seems to be so cavalier about love and relationships. One minute you’re in love, the next you’re not. One minute you’re engaged, the next you’re cheating (at least that’s what OK mag is accusing the Kardasian woman of, but that’s a post for another time). It’s a sad reflection of our society. But Weiner took an oath, an oath to represent the people. And unless everyone in the 9th district of NY is sending pics of themselves with their ‘pussy’s* to young girls and cheating on their significant others, his behavior is a bit of a let down.

Like all politicians caught with their hand in the punani jar, Weiner has decided to ‘seek treatment’. I’m not sure what that means since being a horny man isn’t an incurable disease, but I suppose this is a PR attempt at trying to make this little scandal go away (this statement is in no way a reflection on the size of his peen. I wasn’t one of the girls he sent it to).

Who will we rip on, when Weiner is trying to get his wee little wee wee under control? I mean, this is a comedians/smart ass’ wet dream. I myself don’t think I’ve used the term weiner this much since I was in the 3rd grade! Unfortunately, Weiner won’t be the last of the trolls to abuse their power. He won’t be the last to take pics of themselves and send it to someone they met on the Internet. He won’t be the last to make an utter mockery of his wife and/or family with their questionable behavior on display for the world to see. And he won’t be the last to claim sex or drug addiction and ‘seek treatment’. I guess the silver lining here is that I will always have something to write about. Glass half full!

*In case you’re wondering, I know how to spell. But this is how Weiner spelled it in an email to one of his flings, and it was too hard to resist. The spelling, not Weiner’s weiner. I’m telling you it wasn’t me!

Posted in Culture, politics | 2 Comments »


Posted by humphreysworld on May 2, 2011

On September 11, 2001 I got a call at 3:30am my time (Hawaii) from my friend Jacqueline. ‘Something’s blown up in NY, I don’t know what’s going on’. And just like that, the world was forever changed. I know there is no one in this country, perhaps even the world, who will forget where they were when they first learned of the unfolding tragedy. Except for the children born into a world they knew nothing of. And nearly 10 years later here we are, the man behind the madness has been killed. Within minutes of the news breaking people flocked to the White House with impromptu renditions of the Star Spangled Banner and chants of ‘USA’, ‘USA’. I was glued to the t.v. and on tweeting much like I was that fateful day so long ago. The death of a man who hate so much hate in his heart, and not just for Americans seems like a good thing. After all, he undoubtedly celebrated as images of people jumping to their death and the towers engulfed in flames poured in. He brought destruction where no other did, to our shores. Unless it was by our own hands of course. My good friend lost her brother to the war on terror, and  we lost our civil liberties. So his passing should be good, right?

So why don’t I feel like celebrating?

Well, I find it hard to celebrate death. No matter how heinous a life. Don’t take this statement to be anything close to sympathy. To this day I cannot think of 9/11 without breaking down into tears because of the lives lost because of the hatred of another. And I also don’t judge those who took to the streets. I wanted to be there myself. He was one of the biggest threats to our security, and it is after all human nature to want revenge, death even, for one who is your natural enemy. We lost a lot on that day at the hands of that piece of shit. Our sense of security. Our right to privacy. 3000 lives of our fellow humankind. But why did he choose this country as his target?

The same reason anyone chooses to target another.  Hate.

And it’s hate that keeps me from celebrating. Because until we stop this cycle, the violence, the wars, the dying, the threat will never end. We don’t like what we don’t understand, isn’t that how the old saying goes? Some took revenge on Muslims after 9/11 because we assumed Osama and Muslims were one in the same and without questions outcast an entire religion. Some do not like or  understand what it means to be gay, so rather than understand some would rather beat you and tie you to a fence to die.  Some have been told that one race is superior to another and that, said race is a threat to your way of life. So rather than question or attempt to understand, some chose to hang ,burn churches or drag you through the street. Hate has manifested itself in many, many forms. And until we find peace among what we cannot- and maybe will never- understand, there will always be an enemy, lying in wait to do the devils work. And there will always be others who, fail to understand and follow blindly to do his bidding.

I am so proud of our armed forces. They have spent years in harms way trying to protect our country and way of life. Some, unfortunately, did not make it back. I want them home. And I want the hate to stop. Some day, I want to be a parent. And I don’t want my child to see the things I have seen in my lifetime. No child should live in a state of heightened awareness- and that goes for the children in America, children in Afghanistan, children all over the world. He’s dead. We can’t afford to be naive and assume all is well, but let us take this time and try to make peace of this life. It’s the only one we have.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

A letter from America

Posted by humphreysworld on April 20, 2011

Dear BP,

Hey BP, America here. How’s life treating you? Pretty good I assume, since you got a nice fat refund off my back. You can buy more oil rigs with that money! Me? I’m great. Why, I manage to chug along in spite of all you, your greedy cohorts and countless others continue to throw my way. I’m resilient. But I gotta tell you BP, I’m pissed the fuck off.

photo courtesy of Damage courtesy of BP.

You know why? Well let’s see here. While I struggle to make ends meet, you are living large and in charge. But my peeps in the gulf are falling apart. Falling apart as a result of your greed, if you don’t mind me saying. Families are falling apart, dead animals are still washing ashore, and it looks as though fishing in the area is a thing of the past. Unless of course Americans decide that the newest delicacy is three-eyed fish with arms. Then we’re back in business!

Now I know you ‘apologized’; you and your cronies sort of did your best to appear as though you were really sorry about what happened. You also promised to make it right. Tsk, tsk, tsk. BP, didn’t your mom ever tell you not to tell a lie? Your nose is covered in oil, Pinocchio! You promised to make people whole again, and yet many people in the region haven’t seen a dime. But you have, haven’t you? Come on BP, tell me, what are you going to do with $10 million of our money? Iphone 5’s for all staff? Two weeks in the Galapagos Islands for your top executives? Top notch hookers? It must be nice. Louis and Audrey Neal are headed for divorce because this disaster has literally ripped their family apart and left them in financial ruin. Of course, the 11 families of people who died because you insisted on pushing forward despite the warnings would say their lives are changed forever. But $10 million can buy you plenty of tears so why worry? The minute of silence you held today, did you mark it by the time on your new Rolex?

Maybe I’m bitter. America doesn’t like to look like a sucker, and you punked me, you punked me good. And yeah, maybe I am hating on that $10 million dollar refund you got. Frankly, I’d like to spread some of that wealth to the needy who are unfortunately spread beyond the gulf. But hey, fair is fair. Can you help it if you have friends in high places to write you favorable tax laws so you can pillage my riches? In some ways, one could say you’re a victim too. But who the fuck would say that?

I hate for it to come to this, but you leave me no choice. It’s on. America’s gloves are coming off BP, you have been warned. People have had enough. It’s taken them a while, but I think they’re coming around. We are going to bust a move to be truly beyond petroleum. Cuz we’ve had enough. You bitch-slapped America for the last time.

I hope you invested some of that $10 million wisely, you’re gonna need it.

See you in hell,


Posted in environment, politics | Leave a Comment »

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