The World According to Humphrey

It's my party, and I'll laugh if I want to.

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The wacky, lame, twisted and just plain wrong..

Posted by humphreysworld on October 22, 2010

Wow. Where do I even start? I can think of a dozen reasons why I would prefer to never have heard these stories, one of which is my desire to maintain my sanity. But hey, if they didn’t exist I would have nothing to write about! And I do so enjoy entertaining you (or at least maintaining the illusion that I am). I hope you’ve eaten because some of this stuff might make you want to hurl. Or scramble your brain with a sharp pencil.

Ding Dong the Witch is Dumb.
Sigh. You know, if this was the 50’s, everyone would look at this idiot and think they’ve proven their point as to why women don’t belong in politics. And I think what’s even sadder than her level of intellect are the people who follow her and actually believe what she says. I would like to put her stupidity into words, but she does it so much better. So if you dare, watch this video. And then thank your lucky stars that you still use your brain. And read a book, it might comfort you just a little.

I want my mummy!
I realize there may be mentally something wrong with this woman so I won’t give her a lot of grief. But this is just creepy. I wonder how long this woman was planning on driving around with a body in her car. Yes, a body. Police happened to look into a car that was blocking a driveway and noticed a foot poking out of a blanket. When they decided to break the windows to investigate, they were met with an odor that can only be described as death- and in this it was literally the stench of death. A dead woman was discovered in the car, along with a box of baking soda which had long given up covering up the smell. The woman was believed to be dead between 3 and 10 months. According to the owner of the car, the woman was homeless and she offered her car to the woman as refuge from the cold. When she discovered she had died, she was too afraid to run to popo and spill the deets. Um, yeah. I would say I didn’t believe her, but who the hell would make up something like that?

Don’t laze me bro!
Oh Bieber, bullying is a no no! Especially a little turd of your caliber. Biebs is just a regular teen. And just like any other teen he wanted to take a break for a little lazer tag with his buds (I wonder if his entourage of friends all sport a similar ‘do…). But apparently a bunch of fellow taggies ganged up on baby Biebs and the game got a little ugly when a fellow tween twerp got aggressive and called him a few nasty words and Biebs put the smack down. Don’t panic girls! Allegedly (I have to use words like these since nothing is confirmed. I don’t have money for a lawyer), he was being heavily targeted by fellow taggers and it got nasty when the kid called JB a fa**ot). Well  baby Biebs busted a move of a different kind and pushed him to the ground. I don’t condone the use of that word on anybody. But Biebs may have gone a step to far by pushing the little shit down (if he in fact did). Baby, baby, baby, No!

The very, very bad seed.
Man, Randy Quaid can’t get a break. It seems like every time he and his wife break the law the police are right on their ass. Can’t a thief get some peace!! The Quaid’s couldn’t catch a break here in the good old U.S. of A so they thought they could find peace in Canada. Unfortunately Bonnie & Clyde were wrong. It’s hard to keep up with their crime spree, but last I heard they were camping out in someone’s house. Only it wasn’t theirs. They were released on bail but instead of showing up for court they fled to Canada. Upon being arrested, Mrs. Quaid tried to plead with the Canadian coppers to not send them back because quote, “too many of her husband’s actor friends have died under mysterious circumstances and she’s worried something will happen to him next.” Here’s the hole in her theory: Randy hasn’t acted in years, so killing him would be pointless. It’s not like we’d be subjected to your movies. Hell I loved Randy in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation! I’d fully support a return to acting as opposed to the crime spree he’s been on.

Phew, what a week! I wish I got paid for this.

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2 Responses to “The wacky, lame, twisted and just plain wrong..”

  1. The Yapper said

    Poor Justine Beiber. I hope those bullies didn’t mess up her hair.

  2. LMAO! I am dying over here, good one!

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