The World According to Humphrey

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What, what, in the.. wha?

Posted by humphreysworld on September 30, 2010

There’s a good possibility that I will lose some friends over this post because I’m sure there are some who will interpret this post as a slam against the church. And it really isn’t. Well, not entirely. But I find it so comical, how could I pass up the opportunity?

So, apparently Pastor Eddie Long, who Julian Bond described as a raging homophobe, has been hit with count them- 4 lawsuits accusing him of a slew of dirty deeds. Did I mention the accusers were all young boys? A vehemently anti-gay pastor, diddling the male help? Oops. According to the lawsuits, Pastor Long gave them the star treatment, including trips around the world, cars, college tuition and jobs. In exchange for a little sucky sucky me love you long time. Pastor Long denies all the charges, but I tell ya, he’s not the first raging homophobe to be caught in the boys bathroom diddling his toes in the next man’s stall.

Does the name George Rekers ring a bell? Well if it doesn’t, let me remind you. He was the co-founder of the Family Research Council, a group who is anti-gay, anti-women, anti-abortion, etc. etc. Georgie boy spent his adult life condemning gay people and spewing out hatred about how evil they are. Of course, I think his special friend he traveled to Italy with might be insulted at that. Especially since he provided such excellent service (literally)! George let his fingers do the walking to a little site called and found himself a young chippy to accompany him on a trip. Word on the street is the Rekers is a fan of the long stroke. I don’t know if that quality was outlined in his rentaboy’s profile, but Rekers asked and he received. But you know I have to give it up to George. According to him, he took the boy to carry his luggage and to- and I quote, “…deliberately spend time with sinners with the loving goal to try to help them.” We need more stand up guys like him. Here is is, willing to get a daily rub down, just for the chance to give him a kind word. Just selfless.

And let us not forget Reverent Haggard. Haggard used to head the National Evangelical Association, a group who used their influence to condemn homosexuality whenever they had the chance. Um, yeah. I hate to spoil the surprise here, but the Rev. dipped his stick in the gay pool too. Not only that, but he dabbled in a little meth (which he claims he didn’t use. Yeah, sure), just for shits and giggles I suppose.  Fornication AND drugs?? My, how the mighty have fallen.

You know how they say a guy with a REALLY BIG TRUCK has a really tiny peen? Well maybe, just maybe, the rampant homophobe might have a thing for sweet young things of the same sex variety. And its sad, because they are hiding their desire for flesh behind a wall of hate, a wall of hate that has caused a lot of people to feel shame and hate themselves.

I think the next time any of these fellas step into the limelight they may leave all that gay hate off their cue cards. And that’s just fine with me.


2 Responses to “What, what, in the.. wha?”

  1. Rose said


  2. haha i knew you would appreciate it:-)

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