The World According to Humphrey

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Frankenfish, it’s what’s for dinner.

Posted by humphreysworld on September 21, 2010

Is it me, or is something really, really wrong with this? Now I like science fiction just as much as the next nerd, but I don’t necessarily want to eat it. But unfortunately for you, if AquAdvantage Salmon has its way, you’ll be serving up science experiments to the kiddies for dinner!

Yes folks, the FDA is actually considering letting this freak of nature be available in stores for consumption. Now for those of you who don’t know, don’t give two shits or don’t know how to read, let me break it down for you. Take one salmon, add hormones to turn it into a superfish that grows twice the size in half the time, multiply that one fish into thousands, divide that among a population that has no idea what’s real and what’s grown in a lab when they pick it up at their local grocery store and that equals… Well I’ve never been big on math, but if I’m adding it right, that equals a lot of people with extra body parts and two pairs of eyes. All great qualities if you’ve always dreamed of being an octopus, but otherwise I don’t see the benefits.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am all about experimenting. Personally I am waiting for my do-it-yourself man kit to grow my new boyfriend in the backyard. Comes with all the parts and a shovel so you can bury him up in the pet cemetery and in 3 days he comes out as good as new. But you know what I have a problem with? Packaging that shit for consumption WITHOUT letting the public know what it is or where it came from. Don’t you think consumers have a right to know?

And I wish I could say that frankenfish was the first experiment they’ve tried to shove down our throats. Dr. Evil and the folks at Monsanto have been trying to get their frankenveggies on the market for years. Sugar beets and alfalfa sprouts for those of you who are salad lovers and still want to turn into aquatic animals. And the Supreme Court sided with Monsanto to lift the ban on this stuff, giving the up yours to the lower courts. All Monsanto has to do is have a ‘complete safety study’ first. Which in today’s worlds of power corporations and lobbyists means enough money to line a few pockets and some ‘scientists’ to attest to the safety and in no time at all this stuff will be on plates across America.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little uneasy about the direction food is going. What’s next, cloned meat? Oh wait, they’ve already approved that. Genetically altered potatoes? Um, yeah, they’ve already done that too. Well there’s always room for Jell-O, right? Well…

I think I’ll just have water.


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