The World According to Humphrey

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DC’s very own Savior!

Posted by humphreysworld on September 13, 2010

Do you hear it? If you listen, you might hear the heavenly chorus of children singing. Or perhaps you woke up to a glowing light all around? Double rainbow? Yes, its true.  Church has officially commenced and now DC has finally been given a saint. Lord Donovan McNabb.

insert angelic singing here. No really, I don't have a track for it. Image credit goes to: Halo

Now those of you who know me know that I rarely comment on things I know nothing about. I would say my commentary runs on an 80/20 split.  Football falls into that 20% category. I know what it takes to make a touch down, I know 1st downs and such, I know how these spandex-clad men rack up points, but that’s the extent of my knowledge. Don’t ask me division questions, I’m not sure which one is a tight end (although from my vantage point, all of them are, yuck yuck yuck), and I’m not really sure how many games they play and what stats they use to give them gold stars.  But I know euphoria,  and that’s what has touched the DMV like sweet nectar to a bee.

In the first game of the season, golden child McNabb and the rest of the Skins took it to the Cowboys’ ass. That’s all every man and friend on Facebook I have could talk about. Now I am a frequent shit talker (shocking, I know). Those of you who know me also know that I do not like the Yankees. Despise them in fact. And any time the Yankees get whipped by the Orioles (a rare occurrence) or by anyone, I feel giddy inside that my hatred has been validated by the baseball gods. And I NEVER miss a chance to gloat about it. I’m sure that’s how Skins fans feel when the Cowboys go down in a blaze of boot-scootin  glory. It seems as though we have found our football messiah, hallelujah!

But wait, does this signal the end of losing seasons for the Skins? If memory serves, the Skins and fans alike were certain they found their knight in spandex armor with Albert Haynesworth. I remember it well because when he came to town I had a not- so secret desire to become Mrs. Haynesworth for a very brief period of time. A $27 million dollar contract can do that to you, don’t judge me! But I digress. As it turns out, he’s kind of a dick. Not only did/does he have a piss-poor attitude, but I don’t recall him performing to the level they anticipated. Or at all come to think of it. I can’t name any of the other would-be stars on the team (unless they were in the Eastern Motors, where your job is your credit commercial), but I suspect that if big money was spent, there was a the secret hope that they had the golden ticket, er, football.

I gotta say beyond tailgating, I don’t do much football. But if Lord McNabb is going to carry the skins to victory every week, I think I might have to jump on the Redskins bandwagon. After all, I think my chances of running into a hot boy at a pub or local watering hole might continue to increase if they are all out watching them play. Or at least eliminate the line at Target.

Where can I get a jersey?


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