The World According to Humphrey

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I’m a celebrity, get me out of here?

Posted by humphreysworld on September 4, 2010

I’m sure everyone knows by now (because she’s so important) that Paris Hilton was arrested last week on a drugs possession charge in Las Vegas. This doesn’t surprise me, and if Paris wants to do a little Rick James from time to time, who gives two shits.  But when I came across an article that stated that, if convicted, she would face probation. Interesting. If you’re an every day Joe (particularly of the brown or poor variety) and you are convicted of drug possession, you go to jail. And if it happens to be your 3rd strike you’re up shit creek. California has some of the harshest sentences in the nation for drug possession. And she would get probation IF she’s convicted. Curious indeed…

artwork courtesy of the very talented Ryan Casey.

Everybody’s favorite addict LiLo has also gotten repeated light slaps on the wrist. And she’s been convicted of drunk driving! Yet she only served 14 days of her 90 days sentence, something also atypical of the penal system in CA, because of overcrowding. Now, I don’t want to make a race link here, but hell why not. Movie fame must have gotten the best of T.I. and his mini wife because they were caught with meth and arrested. Paris’s boyfriend was released on $2,000 bail, teeny and tiny were released on $10,000. Something doesn’t add up here.

I guess the lesson here is that if you break the law and you’re a celebrity you don’t have to pay for your crimes. Although if you’re black you have to pay a little bit more. But you can still be famous! T.I. managed to secure himself a little realty show as he was gearing up to eat 3 square meals and find himself a new boyfriend in jail. And I’m sure if we wait with baited breath Lindsay will find work. Paris, well, she never had a job so it would be a surprise to most if she secured on. But if you’re an every day Jane or Joe, try finding work after a stint in jail. Hell, even at McDonald’s they ask you if you’re a convicted felon. I wonder if offenders end up back in jail again. Hmmm…

The solution to overcrowding and solving the prison industrial complex problem is to become a celebrity. That way you can smoke all the snuff you want, drink and drive and get out of jail in no time!

Someone get me an agent!


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