The World According to Humphrey

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Don’t you have to be a ‘star’ to dance?

Posted by humphreysworld on August 27, 2010

So let me begin by saying I do not watch Dancing with the Stars. So this decision does not have any effect on my life. However I do find it comical so I feel the need to comment. For some strange reason, Levi, whom I have a bit of a young white boy crush on, and Bristol, his baby mama, seem to always be in the press. And now it seems as though Bristol finally got a job- as a contestant on Dancing with the ‘Stars’.

Interesting. Despite the fact that most of the people on that show are washed up/out, they still qualify as stars. So, where does Pistol fit on the celebrity spectrum? Being a teen mom? Well, I suppose if she were on MTV’s 16 and Preggers. That can’t be it. She did make it on the cover of Us or People or one of those high quality celebrity gossip rags, but how I’m not sure how that happened either. This is perplexing!

Perhaps she wanted to follow in mama bears footsteps, since Discovery was kind enough to give Palin a show. About wildlife no less. Not shooting them, just wildlife. You know, wildlife like Caribou whose migration paths would be disturbed if we started drilling in ANWR. Wait, that’s it!!

Sarah Palin got a show about wild Alaska which she doesn’t really give two shits about, nor is she any kind of authority unless by authority we mean completely ignorant. And now Pistol is going to dance with the stars, even though she isn’t a star and she probably never danced a cha cha in her life (achy breaky line dances do not count). So, the answer must be that they must be living in a parallel universe where up is down, black is white and everything nonsensical makes total sense. Which is why Palin was put on the VP ticket! And why she said she can see Russia from her house! And why Pistol gave her word to stop at 3rd and then she ended up pregnant!

Ladies and gentleman I have solved the mystery. There’s no stopping me now. My next case to solve will be how do I learn to do accounting like the government so I can continue to spend money even though I don’t have it. That should be easy right?


One Response to “Don’t you have to be a ‘star’ to dance?”

  1. Patrice Celeste said

    I have two things to say to this. Sarah Palin should do a reality show on taking a cheaper trip to Russia via Alaska. It would be a scream to watch her making the trip and could go on for some time!

    Then for Bristol, or is that Pistol, should do a show on How to Move About in Right to Lifers, Republicans and the Church with a belly full:

    Two reality shows from one family!

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