The World According to Humphrey

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So you are trying to get around DC for the 8/28 Glenn Beck March on Washington?

Posted by humphreysworld on August 26, 2010

Herein, a residents guide. I will only update this once since by Monday these nuts will be long gone. Please post any further suggestions or incidents you have with one of ‘them’. Since you live in this area, there is no need to worry about housing.  So this is mainly a list of free, cheap, good, bad and safe or unsafe things.The Washington Monument

America. Did you know that? So if you are brown, white or any shade, orientation or political affiliation, America is free. This also applies to the DC area. You can also access free wi-fi to publicize your progressive and otherwise forward thinking rants and raves while they are in town.

This Saturday is also Columbia Heights day. This is a safe place for us because since there will be so many brown people in attendance the likelihood of running into one of them is pretty small. And if you see one, just launch into a quick round of ‘yes we can!’ or start speaking Mexican and they should leave pretty quickly.

Besides the fact that Beck and his entourage chose this day to ‘reclaim the civil rights’ movement? Well, just about anything in the DC area is cheap. Kramer’s is a good place to catch brunch or lunch, and since there are books involved and they don’t tend to read you shouldn’t have a problem avoiding them here.  In fact, anywhere in Dupont circle (gay area) with the exception Bucca di Beppo or Bertucci’s would be a good location to have a tea partier free lunch. They may accidentally end up in Chinatown, so be cautious. Clydes will likely be the safest place for them to go, otherwise everything else is up for grabs. You may find some at Jaleo (a good place to eat, I must concur) but they should clear out by 6:30pm, if you see them at all. Of course at night, the number of brown people increases so feel free to wander as necessary.

If you feel like diner fare, the DINER in adams morgan would be a safe bet, but all others you may bump your head on a ‘Glenn/Palin 2012’ sign or two.

Safety and Mores
DC are populations includes refugees from other states who came here to work for the administration, a large nonprofit or other types of work that could include any form of do-gooding. This is also the place once dubbed chocolate city. Which means people of the chocolate, chocolate-loving, or chocolate appreciative variety tend to live here. If there is a revolution in town you’ve probably been a part of marching in it or organizing it. This is normal. While I cannot say if you have not participated in any of these activities you would be in danger, but as rabble rousers you may find yourself tempted to exchange a word or two with the tea baggers partiers. This is to be expected (we progressives are very combative). Most taxi drivers and many waters/waitresses are immigrants, and they will likely share the same point of view as you on politics. Don’t be alarmed, they are actually quite smart AND articulate. As a rule, African immigrants will talk to you and know that you don’t assume they are African American (many of us know the difference) and can appreciate intellectual dialogue that can often be heard in a cab, metro or other public place.  It’s rare you meet anyone who doesn’t share your point of view, but its worth mentioning nonetheless.

Many parts of the DC area during the protest are safe beyond the area I list here, so feel free to chance it since you know where you are going (unless you’re new to town, and you still haven’t figured out that you stand to the right, walk to the left on all escalators).

if you are on the subway use your SmarTrip card to go where you need to, but a warning that the red line between Union Station & Shady Grove will be crawling with Beckhards. The Blue and Orange lines will also be particularly full, since many of them will be staying in Arlington since they deem it safe to be free of various shades of brown people and and generally free of  progressives. The Green and Yellow lines should be pretty clear so feel free to travel as you must (you will need to get to Columbia Heights day after all). These rules are even more important at night, because Penn Quarter has some fab restaurants.

If on foot or cab or bus (I highly recommend the bus, tourists almost NEVER get on it), enjoy yourself. You can get to Bethesda, Arlington, Alexandria or any other great city in this area fairly cheaply. NE DC has a lot going on, but you already know that.

Anywhere ignorant people are.


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